Portraits of femality by Susanne

My own experience, 2 years ago, when I made a portrait of myself with my menstrual blood, touched me so deeply, and it radically changed my view of myself. It sensitized me once again to feel like a female being, to refine my perception of my body sensations. It also opened up completely new perspectives on my being a woman, and helped me to adjust to being a woman in this society. I am not exaggerating when I say that it has opened my way. So much so, that I would like to pass this touching experience on and share it with every woman who is thirsty for it.

Some time passed, several moons long, during which I did not paint these portraits. It became quiet within me and change is still taking place with equal certainty through all levels. I sink deeper and deeper into myself. To the place where I encounter my insecurity, my fear of being seen with all this, with this intense and valuable work and the parts within me that are crying out to be able to fully unfold and work, and not knowing how I can do it.

There I relax, admittedly very slowly. Well, then it takes as long as it takes. In the relaxation I find certainties. Many small certainties, which I take up into myself and which let me relax a little bit more each time. How paradoxical that is!

After this time it feels very harmonious to return with a picture of myself.
Or to start all over again, that sounds even better. This is the only thing that was created during this time with myself by myself. This is the portrait which you can see here. And I created it just after two intense days of rituals, where i offered to death what was no longer healthy to hold on. It was a coming home, it was receiving my own medicine.

Well, now things show up a bit clearer to me.

I create these paintings, I portray women with their own menstrual blood and I find it so awesome, so fulfilling and touching to myself that I don't have to convince anyone at all to find that cool, to find that right, to shower that with applause.

I don't need permission from anyone to relax into this process, this task.
Nor do I need to convince a woman that this is the right thing for her right now. How would I know that? Every woman knows best what to do for herself and when.

I'm just here, ready for any woman who hears it calling out to her.

Figure it out:

To allow yourself to be portrayed is alreay a gift in itself. To do this with your own menstrual blood can be THAT gift for you. What exactly this gift contains will only be revealed to you all by itself. It is massive, it is powerful and it is beautiful.

And it is so no matter where you are on your way, how much you have already bonded with your blood, your femininity, if you love to touch your blood, to paint yourself with it, to perform sacred rituals with it, if you are afraid of it, if you have inhibitions, feel restrained, perceive yourself in resistance with your femininity, whether you are curiously looking up and inside yourself, what there is to discover, you are looking for something that will surrender or facilitate access to your femininity and menstruation, no matter where you are, listen inside. And when you hear it calling I am there for you.

I am ready.

Susanne, 40, Berlin