Breaking Down Fences by Katia

I'm writing with a bit of resistance. It is subtle. But it's present. 

Like a bit of a constriction that comes after a big opening. 

I've started doing blood offerings to the tree I see from my window. It grows in the back yard of our housing complex. And the Earth seams thirsty and abandoned there. It's not lush, the greenery is scarce. But the trees are there and they enliven the whole scenery for me. 

I felt that it is a very private matter, going out and offering a part of me to the Earth. I felt like protecting that sacred moment from attention. 

I have seen the call from this project and started to inquire "how can I join?" and "what am I ready to share?". I feel that this endeavor is so important. I know the feeling of seclusion and shame around menstruation. I have been gradually opening into speaking to it. In some supportive environment and with my partner. 

So I took the pictures of my offering to the tree. It was a weird moment. Not a ritual space. Construction work going nearby, workers talking, loud buzzing. The poor ground covered in broken glass, crying for care. Noted it all. Felt that it is exactly the space I can bring more love to. 

I walked a bit further to a green patch. The sun was shining brightly on the gentle grass. I was alone. I remembered the inspiration from this group and tried drawing with blood on my wrist. One round spot and a line. The clearest red shining in the light. So bright and clear. I felt a gentle opening and joy flowing through me. 

I was about to go for a walk into the city. Into the concrete streets surrounded by skyscrapers. I felt an urge to draw a larger pattern. That red color was so vibrant. I covered my other arm in dots. For no particular reason. Just put them carefully rounding the spots. 

I went for a walk. Entered the busy city. And with each step I was feeling more liberated and free. Like I'm breaking out of a cage. My joy got almost wild. I felt wider and wilder. And I was full of energy and strength. Introducing the city to this very nature, the wild bright red dots. 

And the construction work I mentioned. It was about bringing down the fences around my house. I don't like fences. I love open spaces! And this demolition happened simultaneously. In the outer world around me. And inside my own being.

Katia, 33, Moscow