It's Taken Time, But Here I Am ❤️ by Aliisa

When I began to bleed at the age of 11, I felt so ashamed. Until then I had been very proud of the signs of becoming a woman, but bleeding wasn't one of them. I told my mother with body paralyzing shame that I needed a pad.

I didn't tell any friend for a year. When I finally opened up to my best friend, she told me she had started bleeding one month after me. She had been also too ashamed to share that and had told no one. We both felt silly and I think also very relieved that we didn't have to keep it a secret anymore and that we weren't alone ❤️ still the shame didn't go anywhere - oh the endless coughs in the schooltoilets trying to cover up the sounds of me changing my pad or a tampon. 

I ate contraceptive pills for 9 years, since I was 16 years old. After I quit, I started to connect with my cyclical nature and learned to be more gentle with myself. I started to connect much deeply with my body and its wonders, with nature and especially with the moon. I usually bleed around the full moon and moontime is always welcomed and cherished time for me. Even in the times I have pains, my body is so present and so alive and I can surrender to it and it's wisdom. 

It took me 19 years after my first moontime to be here in this loving place with my bleeding ❤️ I have ointed myself few times now. Today I decided it was right time to make my own moonelixir and paint the label with my blood. I've been freebleeding for a year now and love to wear a red skirt during bleeding. 

It's taken time, but here I am ❤️

Aliisa, 28, Finland